Jokes, Jokes, and more Jokes!

[diesel786k]

Salaam to all,

Post your funny wakey jokes here, make them sound funny and bring a smile to us all :D.

Let me start.....


Genie and the Taliban

Three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the genie.

The Canadian says, "I'm a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

With a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state."

Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.

"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - it's virtually impenetrable."

Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."

[diesel786k]

Bush, Einstein and Picasso

When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St. Peter wouldn't let him in until he proved his identity.
Einstein scribbled out a couple of his equations, and was admitted into paradise.

And when Picasso died, St. Peter asked, "How do I know you're Picasso?"

Picasso sketched out a couple of his masterpieces. St. Peter was convinced and let him in.

When George W. Bush died, he went to heaven and met the man at the gates. "How can you prove to me you're George W. Bush?" Saint Peter said.

Bush replied, "Well heck, I dont know."

St. Peter says, "Well, Albert Einstein showed me his equations and Picasso drew his famous pictures. What can you do to prove you're George W. Bush?"

Bush replies, "Who are Albert Einstein and Picasso?"

St. Peter says, "It must be you, George, c'mon on in."

[Wasay]

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13^th October
Which year?Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

Manager asked to sardar at an interviewCan you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,Do I look like a foreigner?Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and toldWALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walked. Suddenly sardar said loudly, " I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.

Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this the manager asked what was he doing. Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"

Interviewer: just imagine your in 3^rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!

[diesel786k]

^^
These sardar jokes and santa banta jokes make me laugh, lol

[Bilal]

Salam bro sardar jkes are really funny lol

[salman]

Wa'alikum-u-Salam

come on guys, don't pick the sardars! I thought we decided on not to make fun at particular group, bring the clean jokes please. The jokes of Prophet(SAW) or shabas(RA) or Mulla Nasruddin. Here's an example

An old woman came to our Holy Prophet Muhammed (saw) and said: "O Messenger of Allah, pray to Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) that I will enter Paradise." Holy Prophet Muhammed (saw) said jokingly, "O Mother of so-and-so, no old women will enter Paradise." The old woman went away crying, after hearing from Holy Prophet Muhammed (saw). Then Holy Prophet Muhammed (saw) sent one of his companions to tell her that, she will enter Paradise by becoming a young lady, because the Paradise is for only young people.

[diesel786k]

^^
I've heard that before, and im kinda suprised of all people...Prophet Muhammad pbuh said this? Joked and made someone cry?

Hmmm..., didn't seem like a joke to me, I duno, maybe im wrong...

Wa Allahu A'lim

[Ahmad]

hmm well i dont think if the reason of that was a joke it can also be use to tell us that no one will be old in peradise any body can share the jokes of mulla do peyazan

[Raied]

nice jokess keep em comingg

[salma888]

where are more jokes?